All right, it’s time for your latest installment of Student Analogies & Metaphors! The last installment featured maggots in hot grease and poor, slow Phil. Today we have the romance version to make you snort out loud!

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
3. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
4. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at a speed of 35 mph.
5. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Two and five make me laugh out loud, but number three is disgustingly hilarious. Which one made you snort your coffee out your nose this morning?

Is that a pun? Hmmm…